


Wish You Were Here

by Bex90



Category: Shameless (US), gallavich - Fandom
Genre: I'm sorry!!, It's gonna be rough, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-06-08 20:09:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6871564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bex90/pseuds/Bex90
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I think the tags and title speak for themselves. The song is Wish You Were Here by Avril Lavigne </p>
<p>I heard the song for the first time in ages and the idea just wouldn't leave me alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wish You Were Here

**Author's Note:**

> I'M SORRY - Please don't hate me
> 
> I hope this isn't as painful to read as it was to write

_I can be tough, I can be strong, but with you, it's not like that at all. There's a boy that gives a shit. Behind this wall, you've just walked through it. And I remember, all those crazy things you said, you left them running through my head, you're always there, you're everywhere. But right now I wish you were here_  
  


Mickey sat in the front row, blindly staring ahead of him. People filtered into the room around him but he’d never felt more alone. Mandy sat beside him, softly sniffling into her hands. They were both dressed in black. Mickey wore a cheap second hand suit and Mandy wore a simple black cotton dress, thick black tights guarding her thin legs from the harsh Chicago winter. Mickey didn’t know where the Gallaghers were but knew they couldn’t be far. Suddenly it was hard to breathe and without realising it Mickey was on his feet. “Mick –” Mandy tugged on his shirt cuff to get his attention. “I can’t be here Mands” Mickey said softly before taking off at a run. He didn’t know where he was going, only knew that he had to get away from that place. The place that was crammed with people wearing too much black. The place that was full of flowers and sorrow, where hearts were breaking. So Mickey ran until his lungs burned, until he was cursing the many years of smoking. “Fuck” Mickey muttered as he bent over, with his hands on his knees and caught his breath. It was only then that he realised where he’d ended up. _“Fuck”_ The building hadn’t changed, it was still decrepit and crumbling around him. It was full of memories Mickey didn’t want to remember. Not today. Not ever again. It was too painful. But at the same time Mickey didn’t want to leave. This place was so full of the two of them, it almost felt like he was here.

_All those crazy things we did. Didn't think about it, just went with it. You're always there, you're everywhere. But right now I wish you were here. Damn, damn, damn. What I'd do to have you Here, here, here. I wish you were here_

 

“Mick?” Mickey spun around at the voice. But there was nobody there, he knew that. Mickey’s heart knew he was alone, but his brain didn’t seem to get the message. It was conjuring sounds and images that Mickey didn’t want to see. Why could he see his redhead standing in front of him? “Mick, you’re ok. You’ll get through this” “No I won’t, I can’t do this without you” Mickey didn’t know why he was talking, _he_ wasn’t really there. “You’re stronger than you know, Mickey Milkovich. You’ve proven that time and time again” “But I had you with me” Mickey was sobbing now. “You make me stronger” Mickey didn’t realize his knees had given way until his hands touched the dusty concrete floor. He looked up to see the mirage of his redhead stepping closer until they were face to face. There was a strange fuzzy glow around the redhead’s face. It almost looked like a halo.  

 

_It's who I am, don't have to try hard. We always say, say it like it is. And the truth is that I really miss._ _All those crazy things you said. You left them running through my head. You're always there, you're everywhere. But right now I wish you were here. All those crazy things we did. Didn't think about it, just went with it. You're always there, you're everywhere. But right now I wish you were here_

 

Mickey slowly stood up, the redhead mirage helping him with a smile. But Mickey couldn’t smile back. He didn’t know how much longer his brain would allow this to go on. “Don’t leave me” Mickey begged. “It’s not up to me anymore, Mick” The mirage smiled sadly. “Close your eyes” Mickey didn’t want to; he knew that this meant. He knew this was really the end. “Mick please” Mickey sighed and closed his eyes, tears streaming down his face. The hairs on Mickey’s arms stood up as he felt the ghosted touches of his redhead. His lips tingled slightly and when Mickey finally opened his eyes he was alone.

 

_No, I don't wanna let go. I just wanna let you know. That I never wanna let go. Let go, oh, oh_ _No, I don't wanna let go. I just wanna let you to know. That I never wanna let go. (let go let go let go let go let go let go let go) Damn, damn, damn. What I'd do to have you. Here, here, here. I wish you were here (i wish you were)._

“Oh Mickey” Mandy’s soft voice reached his eyes and he looked up to see his sister crouching down beside him. He let her sit behind him and pull him onto her chest. “How was it?” Mickey sniffled after a few minutes of silence. “Horrible” Mandy replied. “Carl barely got through the eulogy. Everyone was asking about you” “I’m sorry I took off. It just all got a little much” Mickey pulled away from his sister a little and wiped his eyes. Mandy did the same. “I get it, Mick. I took everything I had not to follow you” she replied. “What do we do now?” Mickey asked sadly. “I can’t go home” “How about we go by the cemetery? You need to say goodbye” Mandy suggested carefully. “Mands –” Mickey tried but Mandy put a hand firmly on his shoulder. “Mick, you need to say goodbye. It won’t get any easier if you don’t” “I don’t want to say goodbye”

 

_Damn, damn, damn. What I'd do to have you near. Near, near, near. I wish you were here. Damn, damn, damn. What I'd do to have you. Here, here, here. I wish you were here. Damn, damn, damn. What I'd do to have you. Near, near, near. I wish you were here_

Mickey gripped Mandy’s hand hard as they weaved their way through the rows of headstones. He didn’t want to see it. Mickey didn’t want to see his name carved into a hunk of rock – it didn’t feel right. None of this was right. They should still be together. “Here it is” Mandy whispered as they stopped in front of a mound of freshly dug dirt. “There’s no headstone yet. Fiona said they’d have the money by the end of the week” “I’ll go over tomorrow and give her the rest” Mickey let go of Mandy’s hand as he sunk to his knees. The grave was fresh and there was a small wooden cross at the head with his name on it. A new wave of tears wracked Mickey’s body and Mandy fought hard to keep herself in check as he comforted her brother. “It doesn’t seem real” Mickey said as he caught his breath. “Feels like a fucking nightmare” “I wish it was” Mandy replied as Mickey stood up. “I really do”  


That night Mickey curled up in his now-too-large bed. He didn’t want to go home but where else was he going to go? He sure as hell wasn’t going to go to the Gallagher house. So Mandy came home with him, cooked him a small meal and let him go to bed early as she sat on the sofa, flicking mindlessly through the TV channels.

 

The bed still smelt like them, like him and Mickey buried his face into his pillow. Mickey didn’t want to forget anything about him and that’s what scared him the most. What if, over time, he forgot what his laugh sounded like? He didn’t want the little things to just be memories because they were the best things, the things only the two of them knew about. Mickey sighed deeply as he tried to sleep but it just wasn’t happening. The bed was too cold and no amount of blankets were going to warm it up. The warmth was missing and Mickey knew it would take a hell of a long time to get it back.

 

_Damn, damn, damn I wish you were here_

__  
  


 


End file.
